Re: The GOOD MONING! thread

[BiR]

Hello, I am your Good morning.

[C.Hound]

Доброе утро.

[BiR]

Доброе утро.

[OT]

My guy isn't having a good day either.

[Tulip]

OT that is me in my avatar.

Here is my handsome smallest dog. We have three dogs. This is Butter Ball and he is six years old. He is a Peek A POO.

That is my husband taking a nap on the coach behind the dog. LOL

Nice avatar

I got creative with my face.

Thanks.

I was going to post pics of all my pets but I am thinking pets may not be a topic of interest.

I should tell you, you look quite handsome in your picture. I can tell you are very tall.
I like tall. My Dad was six foot three and I am five feet nine. No shorties in my family.

[Tulip]

Whoa! Do we need to have a coming out party for Tulip!? lol

Very nice avatar Tulip! You're a very lovely lady.

Whoa, A party, did you say party? I am one party girl. I am always up for a party.

Thanks for the compliment.

I wanted to tell you your newest avatar gives you a powerful look. Kind of God like. Looking down from way up there above the trees.
COOL.

[OT]

Whoa! Do we need to have a coming out party for Tulip!? lol

Very nice avatar Tulip! You're a very lovely lady.

Whoa, A party, did you say party? I am one party girl. I am always up for a party.

Thanks for the compliment.

I wanted to tell you your newest avatar gives you a powerful look. Kind of God like. Looking down from way up there above the trees.
COOL.

But he will never be able to hide his horns and tail. heheheheheheh

[C.Hound]

Whoa! Do we need to have a coming out party for Tulip!? lol

Very nice avatar Tulip! You're a very lovely lady.

Whoa, A party, did you say party? I am one party girl. I am always up for a party.

Thanks for the compliment.

I wanted to tell you your newest avatar gives you a powerful look. Kind of God like. Looking down from way up there above the trees.
COOL.

Well thank you, first time I've been assoiciated with godlyness. hehehe...

[OT]

Whoa! Do we need to have a coming out party for Tulip!? lol

Very nice avatar Tulip! You're a very lovely lady.

Whoa, A party, did you say party? I am one party girl. I am always up for a party.

Thanks for the compliment.

I wanted to tell you your newest avatar gives you a powerful look. Kind of God like. Looking down from way up there above the trees.
COOL.

Well thank you, first time I've been assoiciated with godlyness. hehehe...

Probably the last to. hehehehehehehe

[C.Hound]

Whoa! Do we need to have a coming out party for Tulip!? lol

Very nice avatar Tulip! You're a very lovely lady.

Whoa, A party, did you say party? I am one party girl. I am always up for a party.

Thanks for the compliment.

I wanted to tell you your newest avatar gives you a powerful look. Kind of God like. Looking down from way up there above the trees.
COOL.

Well thank you, first time I've been assoiciated with godlyness. hehehe...

Probably the last to. hehehehehehehe

Actually, I do seem to remember several women calling me God. If it wasn't......
"Oh God! I'm going to ring your neck! "...
It was...
"OHHHHHHHHH GOD!!!!! yes! yes! yes! GOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!! "

[OT]

this may brighten up your day with a smile.


Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

[Tulip]

this may brighten up your day with a smile.


Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

This was cute.

I especially like the remote comparison.

[C.Hound]

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

But wait! There's more . . .

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. And the winners are:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature . . .

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

[OT]

Good morning everyone. Guess where I am going for breakfast.

[C.Hound]

Good morning everyone. Guess where I am going for breakfast.

Careful OT. The waffles may not be the cause of that warning.

[OT]

Good morning everyone. Guess where I am going for breakfast.

Careful OT. The waffles may not be the cause of that warning.

I'll be good, honest. I won't touch anything. I just want to do a little window shopping.

[C.Hound]

I been to some of them beaches. The babes don't go there. lol

[OT]

I been to some of them beaches. The babes don't go there. lol

They did at the one in Missouri. But now it is mostly done at private clubs

[OT]

OK all you chow hounds. Let's go, breakfast is ready and waiting.

And a whomping good morning to all of ya.

Now let's eat.

[C.Hound]

Where's the grits and red eye gravey?

[OT]

Where's the grits and red eye gravey?

What's left is down at the far end. Yep they was good to.

[Tulip]

Good Morning all.

I have to get to sleep.

Have been reading on Scam all evening.

Just to crazy on that forum.

[xshivx]

Good Morning all.

I have to get to sleep.

Have been reading on Scam all evening.

Just to crazy on that forum.

Good morning luvey

yes u should lol but i can't talk i aint slept since 9am yesterday morning :/ lol

xxxxxx

[OT]

Good morning world. It looks like you will have to put up with me for at least another day. hehehehehehehehehe

[xshivx]

Good morning world. It looks like you will have to put up with me for at least another day. hehehehehehehehehe

aaaw damn it well that's ruined my day jksjks xxxxxx

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